The Cornish Rambler
Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Why is it, you work on drafts of a document for nearly two weeks, other people check it too, you print nearly 20 copies, staple them, seal them up in envelopes and address them, and then, and ONLY F*****G THEN do you notice the typo in the second line? Why? Why?
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Now for a start, the average age of the serving staff appeared to be about 12. These innocents were shepherded about by a lone lady who appeared to have been trained by the gestapo. Now we were rather crammed in shoulder to shoulder on these long bench tables, and every morsel placed on the table was prefaced by a bellowed 'EXCUSE ME' from this terrifying appirition, or 'NOW DOES ANYONE WANT MORE POTATOES' and so on as steaming platters of watery turkey were thrust between the diners, forcing each to lean first over the lap of the person on one side, and then the other way, as each person got served. This happened with every course and every dish.
Then there was the slightly over-exuberant approach to table clearing. While we were eating our starters, the team of infant waitresses once more began forcing us to sway one way and the other as they snatched up the surplus fish knives and soup spoons depending on which way you'd chosen. Then during the main course, they did the same with the salt and pepper cellars and the dishes of cranberry sauce. Which was rather a shame, as the cranberry sauce was rather nice, and somewhat the high point of the main course. I saw them pillaging the next table, and managed to get another spoonful onto my plate - despite them actually seeing me do this, there wasn't so much as a 'have you finished with this?', nope, it was snatched off along with all the others.
The coffee was rather nice, but we were only allowed the one cup. And Chris didn't get any, having foolishly nipped to the loo, while his waiting cup was carefully ignored, and then cleared away again.
I should perhaps admit that the food was better than last year. Who knows, by next year they might even have fixed the service...
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Life's a Pitch
Mab sent me this link, which I thoroughly recommend perusal of. Guarantee you won't get any work done for ages.
It's here, it's shiny and it's on me finger. And it came in a jiffy bag. Yes, they were too tight to provide a presentation box.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Ringless in Falmouth
Well despite being told that my engagement ring would be ready to collect by the 23rd (ie three weeks from when it was ordered), we tried to pick it up yesterday (24th) and it's STILL not in. So I would just like to yell BASTARDS! very loudly, if I may. Thank you.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Step 1: - Add beansprouts to wok.
Step 2: - Peel and finely chop garlic and ginger.
Step 3: - Catch chopping board on handle of wok and shower tiny fragrant pieces all over the cooker.
Step 4: - Gather up those pieces you can. Be glad you didn't bother cleaning the grill door because they've stuck to that rather than falling on the floor.
Step 5: - Add to wok with soy sauce and taste.
Step 6: - Decide beansprouts taste revolting due to having been in the fridge too long. Throw whole lot away.
Step 6: - Cook chicken burger, beans and chips instead.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Monday - 22/11
1-1 was a racehorse
2-2 was 1 2
1-1 1 1 race
2-2 1 1 2
ah, how to annoy numerologists with silly rhymes. always good.
Well, as a Monday, that wasn't too bad - managed to avoid being sent to Bodmin, had chips with my lunch, and due to having been shopping while hungry, I now have a blackcurrant cheesecake and a bottle of wine. Result.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
In place of anything witty or entertaining (cos after this week, frankly I'm too knackered), here's a rather marvellous site to explore instead - welcome to the village of Trepanning...
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Photocopiers. I hate 'em. This particular electronic pile of arse is jamming every two sheets. You then have to open six hundred separate doors, some of which are only accessible by standing in a chalk circle and casting particular incantations (kicking it also works, but only on a full moon). You then remove the one piece of paper that is actually stuck, and close everything up, only to be told that no, there is still a paper jam. Which you know with great certainty that there isn't. So you go through the entire process again. Five times. At which point it reluctantly concedes that, ok, you may actually have removed the problem and you may now continue. For two more sheets. And then...oh bother it, pass the chalk and the chicken blood...
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Today I finally managed to get something I've been wittering about for years - a blackcurrant bush! Now I just have to plant the thing...I DID get round to planting my spring bulbs today though. So here's to a colourful spring and a tasty summer.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
For the second time our department's Manual Handling course has been postponed. I want to know if I'm the only one expecting to be shown how to lift enormous instruction books....
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Rambler in print!
I've had poems published before, but never a whole article. And now I'm too paranoid to read it in case I think oh no, that's actually rubbish.
For those that don't know, Dragonswood is a Pagan-interest magazine that stemmed out of the online site and forums at http://www.dragonswood.org.uk. I'm a moderator on there and a member of the magazine editorial team (proof reader extraordinairre - which is probably spelt wrong just to show how good at it I am...).
Oh, the article's on Pagan Cornwall.
AND, I have discovered how to put extra links at the side of this thing, by studying the code on someone else's, which I think was rather clever of me *smug mode engaged*.
Marmalade and jam
Fire Chinese crackers-up-yer-arsehole
As I believe the ditty goes.
I seem to have spent the past three nights noticing flash-bang from behind the curtains, rushing to the window, opening the curtains, waiting to see another firework go, getting bored, walking off, only for flash-bang again behind me...grrr.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
The customer is always a pain in the arse
A first today - an argument with a sales assistant that actually got me somewhere. Normally I subscribe to the terribly English way of going about things in the whole "no no that's fine, you're ripping me off and I wanted something else anyway but I'd rather die than make a fuss" vein, but having taken my purchase up with sale price stickers on it, I was then told that the sale was over, and I'd have to pay the full price. To the horror and embarrassment of 90% of my psyche (and probably those of the people queuing behind me) I heard myself say ok, but as I understand the law if something's marked at a price that's what you're obliged to sell it at. I think that court experience may have gone to my head. Also, probably best that I didn't mention the fact that this grasp of the law was based on something I read in Whizzer and Chips at the age of about 6, when Mr Bloggs bought Mr Superstore's shop for a tiny amount when it had a cheap price tag accidentally stuck to the window...Anyway, they called the manager, who from some inner sanctum gin palace agreed instantly over the phone to let me have it at the sale price. Result!
PS I think this saved me the grand total of £1.80, but then, it's the principle of the thing...
Not as bad, however, as Incubus Dreams, the latest Anita Blake Vampire Hunter book which I've also just read, and which is also enormous. And in which the plot takes up about twenty pages out of six hundred and forty eight. And that was largely setting up for the next book, so wasn't even resolved. This series is starting to annoy me, plus, if she doesn't finally bring Edward back into it in the next one I shall throw a strop. So there. No half measures here...
Also just started Something From The Nightside by Simon Green (JS&MN being to hefty too lug to work every day). My favourite line so far being: "..all kinds of graffiti. As usual, someone had spelt Cthulhu wrong."
Twelve Wise Monkeys
Well, my jury service has now been and gone, and on the whole it was quite interesting. It lasted four days, three of which were taken up with one case. The first day was the introduction to what we were doing, followed by around two hours of waiting, only to be told that both cases had pled guilty and we could all go home again. By the middle of the second morning, quite a few members of the group were getting rather whingy along the 'isn't this a waste of our time' route, but given that, ultimately, I was being paid to sit and read my book and drink coffee I was quite happy. What I couldn't understand were the people that came along each day WITHOUT something to read, and just sat and stared into space for hours. Duh. Anyway, I got picked onto the final twelve, and three days (and four hours of discussion) later we came up with the verdict that I think we'd largely started out with. So that's all right then.