No Offence, Like.

Got very, very wet this morning in a sudden cloudburst, to the extent that having squelched in to work, I then had to take off my socks and wring them out. Left them hanging attractively over the radiator, while I went off to an infection control seminar. Oh, the irony.

The hour and a quarter on how to wash your hands, demonstrated with a lightbox that only the front row could see was somewhat enlivened by debate (the only heated thing in an otherwise freezing room) that promised to break into a punch-up, over whether laminated signs on handwashing should be displayed in waiting rooms.

Although the best part came right at the end, when, questions having been invited, a woman at the far side of the room spoke up with "I don't mean to offend anyone in this room, but - " (always a promising start) "there's a lady in this room who has been putting the end of her pen in and out of her mouth the whole time, and I'm finding it really disgusting, especially considering the reason we're all here, and I don't mean to offend anyone, but I find it really insulting to the teacher." There was a collective intake of delightedly horrified breath, as the room gradually woke up and cottoned on to what she was saying. The lady taking the seminar stood there with her mouth open for several seconds, frantically trying to think of a suitable reply, while someone behind me hissed "ooh, tell-tale-tit!". She eventually plumped for a brisk "Well. That's all very good. Right, thank you all for coming."