A Smashing Time

Once upon a time, in a town far, far away, I lived for a year in a house which appeared to have magic kitchen lino - in so far as if you ever accidentally dropped something - even a glass - it would bounce.

I rather wish I was still there. In the last two days I have dropped - and smashed - a wine bottle (empty, don't panic) and a cat-food dish.

I am now somewhat nervously awaiting the third thing, because there will, inevitably, be one. I believe it's the rules.

However, on the educational front, I do now know exactly what a smithereen looks like.

and I even arranged for it to be sunny

So today was the day of the Norfolk invasion.

Note to self: when arranging to meet someone at a pre-arranged time, it really would be sensible to remember to put your watch on before leaving the house... However, we managed the rendezvous - both lurking in the bestsellers section of Waterstones - with no hitches. With hindsight, we really should have arranged some sort of password - maybe sidling up with a muttered "the eagle flies at midnight", although I suppose that had rather embarrassing potential had we approached the wrong suspiciously lurking figure.

We made our way to Charlotte's Tea House, which I'd not been in before, but had come highly recommended. A proper, old fashioned tea shop, with cakes on a tiered stand and snooty waitresses in black dresses and white aprons. Dave and I had a cream tea, and the Husband had warm chocolate fudge cake and it was all oh-so-terribly-agreeable, doncha know.

I also apologised on behalf of the Cornish nation for the fact that it had been raining all week on him...

Bare-faced Cheek?

So this weekend 2,000 naturists are apparently converging on the Eden Project.

Presumably they will be keeping well away from the cacti...?

Getting Shirty

Just seen a lady in the canteen with a T-shirt bearing the logo "Home Education. A real option." How evil is it that I really wanted it to have a spelling mistake?

Taking the Piss?

Someone has just called me with a query regarding an order for a urine extractor.

I laughed.

They didn't.

Oops.

15 men on a dead man's chest

OK, so it's a surreal moment to wander into town and discover yourself in the middle of a sea shanty festival. Everywhere you go, groups of beardy men in stripy jumpers singing at you. Kept feeling like you were going to be pressganged...

WTF? You can't say that?

Just seen a new advert for some sort of washing machine aid that lets you wash colours with whites and not turn all your knickers pink. The advert was bad enough but the tag line to it made me fall off the sofa in hysterics - "the proof is on the sheet".

Is it really? Good thing you're doing the washing then.

Honeytrap

A swarm of bees took up residence on a lamppost outside Truro Cathedral last week.

The local paper announces today "Thousands of the striped creatures had inexplicably made a bee-line for the prime city centre spot" going on to be unable to resist describing it as a "hive of activity." Local reporting. Gotta love it.

Mood: Industrious

We've lived here, what, four years now? Finally got round to defrosting the freezer yesterday (yes, and other exciting stories). There is something quite satisfying though, about heaving out sheets of ice the size of a polar ice cap. And then of course there's that vodka miniature lurking in the arctic depths, slivers of ice perfectly suspended in crystal liquid, precision chilled over three years. I even cleaned out the fridge as well, and was relieved to discover what I thought at first was a clump of monster mould, was in fact only a stray broccoli floret...

Welcome to the 20th century. What do you mean I'm late?

So - yeah. I now have Broadband - yee-haw!

So to celebrate, a new and shiny (well, greener anyway) template. And you never know. I might get back into posting more than once a month. If you're unlucky.