Rip Her To Shreds

I should have known it was going to be one of those days when I got half way through stamping this morning's post before realising I hadn't changed the date on it. Things got marginally more embarrassing this afternoon when I managed to jam the shredder. Well, you'd think a munching metal jawed monster would be robust enough to take more that a few sheets at a time, wouldn't you? So what better way to recover from the day than to open a nice relaxing bottle of wine? Except, of course, the cork snaps in half. Nay bother, stick the corkscrew in the bottom bit and try again. Yep, cork sinks in to the neck of the bottle and I'm now proudly sporting a blood blister across the palm. To round things off, I poke the cork down into the bottle. I believe the effect is probably best spelt spla-doosh....