Wild Wild Life

Today, I have mostly been beset by wildlife. I was woken in the small hours by the sensation of something crawling over my hand. Opening my eyes to see an onimous black thing, as my mind was forming the thought ohfuckit'saspider, it gave a big leap, revealing itself to be a grasshopper, promptly disappearing amongst the pillows. This was eventually captured and bunged out the window.

Upon getting up, I started the shower running and pulled back the curtain to reveal - yes, a bloody great spider, trying to pull itself out of the running water in a kind of "ow ow ow ow ow" spidery dance. This, also, was captured and bunged out the window.

Then there was the dead bat in the driveway (rather flat, possibly the cat sat on the bat? She's a big girl.).

And at the station, I was buzzed by a wasp.

I'm begining to think it's a conspiracy.