Photocopier Foolery

Photocopiers. I hate 'em. This particular electronic pile of arse is jamming every two sheets. You then have to open six hundred separate doors, some of which are only accessible by standing in a chalk circle and casting particular incantations (kicking it also works, but only on a full moon). You then remove the one piece of paper that is actually stuck, and close everything up, only to be told that no, there is still a paper jam. Which you know with great certainty that there isn't. So you go through the entire process again. Five times. At which point it reluctantly concedes that, ok, you may actually have removed the problem and you may now continue. For two more sheets. And then...oh bother it, pass the chalk and the chicken blood...